what it's about

beauty. its all about beauty.

last night i was able to have the supreme pleasure of seeing sufjan steven's BQE at BAM. i had no set expectations really, wasn't too sure what exactly to expect, and wound up with my second best musical experience ever. i'm attempting to make that happen more in my life: no expectations. lately i've been learning it leads to greatness.



but last night. sigh. the man has a gift for making music. watching the movie, seeing this hideous roadway de-constructed visually and reconstructed bit by bit into something aesthetically pleasing, pulsating with this collective swell of music that was unmistakably sufjan. i sat there in this giant space completely full of people and i truly think every single one was at rapt attention. giving. maybe this is part of why it was so amazing? that much energy collectively presented to one thing- there's power in that, and love. it flowed and jerked and screeched and flowed again. there was pure noise. at those moments i considered the unusually high levels of dopamine that surely must have been coursing through my brain attempting to ascertain the pattern, decipher the musical language. (thank you radio lab)i caught a shot of my local hardware store in the midst of the clips. i wondered how long he's been filming these clips. how one shot of the dividing line in the road leads to a rhythm or a tempo perhaps. it makes a person want to create all over again and again. i want that music set to my life. and hula hoops that are lit like the tail/headlights- hilarious. i gotta work my hula-hooping skills.
i wanted it to last longer than it did, which is always a sign of success, and then lo and behold apres intermission was 'sufjan sings the hits'. ha ha score! how often does a performer play all the things you want to hear? i was shuddering with delight. his lyrics create lovely stories. the stories i love most- little bits of a day that somehow left a mark on you forever. i attach alot to songs, to periods and people in my life. i get to relive that memory when i hear a song- and there are certain performers that when heard live make it all the more real. its why music makes me ache so badly. its makes all your body give over to it, release things you tucked away.
its just pure beauty.